It's a simple mechanism. A device. A necessity. It is THE HANDLE. It is what fulfills and completes the toilet's mission in life: the removal and elimination of wastes! It is not meant to be ignored, toyed with, or taken lightly. ONE SHOULD NEVER KID about such serious matters!! It is the BACKBONE of the toilet. Without it, the toilet becomes nothing more than a common object! There are three things that I take very seriously in life... 1) Death, 2) Taxes, and 3) Bathrooms. There are things that go on in bathrooms that I just don't want to know about! I don't want to know what dropped where or why it smells in there, I just want to get in and get out as fast as I can from the bacterial wasteland! I will ignore the splash marks on the door and not even pause a second to discover HOW and WHY it landed there! I'm not as accomplished in escaping quickly as other professionals might be, such as the girls I shared a floor with my first year at College. No no...they were the "Speed Dumping" queens. They could get in there and drop it faster than you could blink. There was one stall...the Handicapped one to be exact, in which was named and labeled the "Speed Dumping Station". It was for those with masterful speed. They were the ones that got to enjoy the spacious luxury of the toilet stalls. But once again...I digress.
Earlier I walked into the ladies room here at work. Many women from all over this building come to this bathroom. All the easier to not have the finger of blame pointed at you....get lost in the crowd. Well my friends, it's been said to me that the cleanest toilet is the one closest to the door...which is probably correct and I would have used it had it been available to me, but I went for the one furthest from the door (in all theories, the dirtiest)...well that theory was correct. I opened up that door and saw something that cannot be described in words. Give me a moment....I'm still trying to recover. My mind could not comprehend this act of indecency! What, did they think they were leaving me a GIFT?! "Look what I did for you!!" Like when your cat brings you a mangled bird half digested and goes "Aren't you proud of me! Look what I brought you!" NO! MY GOD NO! IM NOT PROUD! GET IT THE HELL OUT OF MY SIGHT! Normally I would quick flush it with my foot but I wasn't about to go anywhere near that creature and have it come alive and pull me in with it!! But really folks...how can you do all that, #1 AND #2...with no visible signs of toilet paper anywhere and just LEAVE IT for the helpless victim who should happen upon it. Aren't you embarassed??? Aren't you saying to yourself "hmm maybe the next toilet user doesnt WANT to see my bodily excretions!!" What is going on in your HEAD!? Whatever it is its nothing compared to what is going on in your digestive system lady!!!
6 comments:
One question before you assume that someone did not use any toilet paper... Is there a garbage can nearby? Some people have learned (usually from their mother country or just their mother) that the toilet paper goes into the garbage because the pipes can't handle it and will clog. I know I know--its gross to us--but to them it's the right thing to do.
Regardless, leaving their duty in the toilet is just WRONG!!!
You should check today's post of the blog noted below. It goes well with your "Ms. Toilet Says:" post--even the picture. Maybe you're non-flushing, non-wiping, smelly office lady is taking a new weightloss drug that causes rapid movements of sorts. Hee!
http://fanaticcook.blogspot.com/
All this is just too nasty to comment on!!
Seems that what goes on in her head and digestive system are one in the same. Kinda makes the men's room seem inviting...Gross!
Seems that what goes on in her head and what goes on in her digestive system is one in the same. Makes the men's room seem inviting...gross!
Sorry to post twice. Had a Candy moment there! Hee
Post a Comment