Base to Commander, We've Encountered an Impenetrable Wall! Over!

Human beings are so utterly complex, yet they are also staggeringly simple that it blows my mind. There is one thing I appreciate about young children (and only one! haha j/k), their innocence. Pre-disappointment, pre-revelatory, pre-fort knox. They have very little defense except maybe a pouty face and crossed arms when they don't like something. If you ask them what is on their mind, they tell you. Simple. Then somewhere along the line they grow up, they get hurt, they stop trusting that everyone has their best interests at heart and up go the defenses. It happens to everyone, some of us more than others. There is no escaping the Fort-Knox syndrome.
I often wonder what will happen to a person who keeps their walls up continuously. Its a very draining process to keep up that kind of defense. I say that because I did it for quite a long time. It's so easy to remain locked into yourself...don't help me, don't try to make me trust you because I can't, I hurt too much to let anyone within 100 yards of me. That type of mentality. I've come quite a ways from that time in my life thankfully. I still experience it every once in awhile but I'd rather just chew a friend's ear off for 10 minutes so I can get it out. People used to warn me continuously...if you keep it all in it will build and build until it destroys you. And that would have been true. I could see myself heading for that. It used to get really annoying too when people kept prodding at me to open up, which would only make me do the complete opposite! But now I see their point. I think I didn't want to open up because I almost liked being able to hold onto my pain. It was the only type of covering I had to hold on to. This is going to be a silly illustration but you know in Beauty and the Beast when the Beast gets his arm clawed by the wolves...he's sitting there licking it and protecting it but meanwhile thats not going to heal it...when Belle goes to dab it to clean it he pulls away from her. Then he realizes he should trust her so he hands her his arm and she pats it and of COURSE it hurts, but it has to hurt first in order for it to heal all the way. Physical wounds need cleaning, and they hurt, but they will continue to fester and become worse if not treated. The same goes for emotional wounds. You can only ignore it for so long until it finds you. Then what do you do? You think its easier to just ignore it, but you can't. If it doesn't express itself one way it will in another way. That is the nature of the beast. The only way to clean up the mess is to get dirty.
Ah reminiscing on the lessons I've learned...some things we have to learn for ourselves, no one can tell us.