You've got to be kidding me...

Apparently Paris Hilton is trying to appeal her prison sentence of 45 days....how is she going about doing it??? Wellllllllllll she's made up a nice little petition for Gov. Schwarzenegger (phffff) and has posted it on her MYSPACE page telling everyone to sign it.....I can't stop laughing, and I want to start a petition of my own that she GO to jail! Do not pass GO do not collect 100 dollars! IN THE CLINKER BIMB!!

Take a Look at the Petition Available Through Hilton's MySpace Page (to make this more exciting to read I'm going to add my own little comments denoted by parentheses and **).

To: The Honorable Governor Arnold Schwarzenegger (**I really loved you in Kindergarten Cop!!**)

Paris Whitney Hilton is an American celebrity and socialite. She is an heiress to a share of the Hilton Hotel fortune, as well as to the real estate fortune of her father Richard Hilton (**she also holds an IQ of negative 47, and her face closely resembles that of an ostrich**). She provides hope for young people all over the U.S. and the world (**hope that they too can get busted on a DUI and get out of jail by making bogus petitions on their myspace pages!!**) . She provides beauty (**though we're not sure what kind**) and excitement (**excitement!?!?!?!**) to (most of) our otherwise mundane lives (**way to go Hilton, rip on all your fans calling them mundane and BORING, yeah they'll really want to sign it now**). Hilton is notable for her leading roles on the FOX reality series The Simple Life and in the remake of the Vincent Price horror classic "House of Wax" (**her acting sucked as usual**). In addition to her work as an actress, she has achieved some recognition as a model, celebrity spokesperson, singer, and writer (**why, we'll never know**). As most of America now knows, Ms. Hilton was just charged in a Los Angeles court with DUI and sentenced to 45 days in Century Regional Detention Facility in California beginning on or before June 5, 2007. We, the American public who support Paris (**and all nitwit bimbos across America!!**), are shocked, dismayed and appalled by how Paris has been the person to be used as an example that Drunk Driving is wrong (**instead we feel she should be the person to show the disgusting abuse of celebrity power in America!**) . We do not support drunk driving or DUI charges (**but we support drunken Heirress's who prey on the malleable brains of enamored pubescents!!**) . Paris should have been sober (**she should have gone to college, she should have gotten a real job, she never should have put that sweater vest on her dog and made him write that book**). But she shouldn't go to jail, either (**she should be publicly flogged instead**). As depicted on Friday night's episode "Nancy Grace" on Headline News (May 4, 2007), countless celebrities have been "slapped on the wrist" (**then slapped on the tooshie**) for similar incidents recently. Nick Nolte, Mel Gibson, Tracy Morgan, Wynonna Judd, to name a few (**people whose careers are washed up**), were arrested and never did a day in jail after their initial arrests for drunk driving /DUI /DWI charges (**despite the fact that they were all in violation of their face**). Rappers Busta Rhymes and Eve still walk free after both being arrested for the same charges as Ms. Hilton just this past week (**showing us all how RIDICULOUS the public justice system really is!**). Brandy's California Highway accident, although no proof of DUI was evidenced in her accident, resulting in the death of a young wife and mother in California, yet Brandy walks free as of today, never doing any time and A WOMAN HAS BEEN KILLED most likely due to her reckless driving! (**oh no she di'n't jus say that...giiiirrrllll Brandy gonna come ova and open uppa som WHOOP ASS on yo cracka bird face!!**) Yet, Paris Hilton did not hurt, injure, or kill anyone or anything (**though plenty of people would like to do all of that to her**), and yet she must do jail time. This petition is to ask Governor Arnold Schwarzenegger to pardon Paris Hilton for her mistake (**and for being in violation of her face**) Please allow her to her return to her career (**of sitting around and making stupid faces at cameras**) and life (**the simple one**). Everyone makes mistakes. She didn't hurt or kill anyone, and she has learned her lesson (**and she is also crapping her pants over the fact that some butch woman in cell 59 might make her her prison bitch**). She is sincere, apologetic, and full of regret for her actions as she explained tearfully (**using special eye drops**) to the Judge handling her case in court yesterday.She is distraught and understandably afraid. WE NEED YOUR SUPPORT (**and your inability to think for yourselves and realize people need to pay for PUBLIC OFFENSES**) to save our Paris from ending up at the Century Regional Detention Facility! (**and having to go a 45 days without her Evian bottle!!**) Please sign to tell The Honorable Governor Arnold Schwarzenegger of the State of California, to think about the welfare of this young woman who has made a mortal error and deserves a second chance like so many others in our great nation (**like mass murderers, serial killers, terrorists, and the uni-bomber!**) have been served with after a mistake they have made. If the late Former President Gerald Ford could find it in his heart to pardon the late Former President Richard Nixon after his mistake(s) (**and this case having absolutely no conceivable parallel with Ms. Hilton's**), we undeniably support Paris Hilton being pardoned for her honest mistake as well, and we hope and expect The Governor will understand and grant this unusual but important request in good faith to Ms. Paris Whitney Hilton. (**We'd like to end this petition by quoting some lyrics from Ms. Hilton's musical debut album...

Since I'm already screwed

Here's a message to you

My heart's wide open

I'm just not getting through to the lover in you

Yet I'm still hoping

That tonight, tonight, you're gonna turn down the lights

And give me a little more room just to prove it to you

What do I gotta do?

Jealousy, jealousy, jealousy It's such a thing to watch someone Jealousy, jealousy, jealousy Nobody wins when you're full of envyLa, la, la, la, la, laLa, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la**)