Please I Beg of You!

IN THE NAME OF ALL THAT IS SACRED AND HOLY STOP STEPPING ON THE BACK OF MY FLIP FLOPS!!

The weather is warming up, we're all adjusting our wardrobes, making changes in our footwear, I personally have pulled out my trusty flip flops for the warmer climate....so here's a few simple GUIDELINES for the LOOOOSERS who can't seem to control their conception of personal space in the subways, on the trains, and other crowded places I must traverse every day.

1. When walking behind someone and you are close enough to smell the shampoo they used that morning, chances are YOU ARE TOO CLOSE...BACK OFF!

2. Everyone's in a rush, we all know we have places to be...it would more than likely be more beneficial to you if you didn't act like a rogue elephant when the subway doors open...MIND THE GAP!

3. I know its crowded, there's a lot of people in this city, there are 400+ subway stations and they are all jam packed. However, as crowded as it may be there is still such a thing as personal space. For instance, when we're walking out of the subway and up the stairs to the streets, it may not be necessary to re-enact the Israeli exodus out of Egypt... You're not Moses, your PDA or Crackberry is not a wooden stick, you are not going to magically PART THE CROWD! WAIT YOUR TURN!

4. I know I may smell good, I know I may warrant you wanting to get as close to me as possible, but I swear to god the next time anyone elbows me or bumps into my bag which holds my wallet and a book and is very tiny and not sticking out in anyone's way... or "casually" brushes into my backside....so help you!!!!

5. I KNOW YOURE NOT BLIND, you have two eyes, two feet, and a brain, for the love of MARY, LOOK WHERE YOU ARE WALKING! LOOK WHERE YOUR FEET GO! STOP STEPPING ON THE BACK OF MY FREAKIN FLIP FLOPS!!! YOU CAN WALK THREE FEET BEHIND ME AND STILL NOT BE LATE FOR WORK!

Haha WHEW! Glad I got THAT off my chest!